Farewell to Android

[Alternate Title: “An Unsuccessful Foray into Poetry.” Or, “Yet Another Reason We Shouldn’t Let Hillary Have a Blog.”]

With Friday’s release of the iPhone 5, it only seemed proper to draft some heartfelt adieux to my Samsung Galaxy S. From the first one I bought 20 months ago to the sixth free replacement I’ve received from Verizon, we’ve had a long journey together. It was truly the worst of times. Phone, just don’t spite me and die before my iPhone arrives – please.

Android, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Perhaps it’s how you always know when I really need the rest
And turn yourself off rather than wake me up for work.

I love how you freeze every time I use Google Maps. I’m lost,
But I know you’re right: it’s the journey, not the destination.

Or how you prioritize a weak wi-fi signal over a strong data connection.
I’m happiest when you choose an RV’s wi-fi over 3G during rush hour.

There’s a soft spot in my heart for the days you overheat,

And the best part of every morning is when you suddenly drop
From a full battery to dead in three seconds flat.

You always keep me on my toes, my dear Android.

And I’ll miss you old friend, with all my heart,
But Android, I shall but love you more when we part.

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